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Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

Three Decades

Today is my 30th birthday. It is depressing and I feel old. If I were to analyze my feelings, I’d say I’m mainly depressed that I have done nothing with my life.

Exactly one week ago, I went for a job interview with my dream company. I’ve wanted to get into this company, and this particular department, for years but I’ve applied numerous times without hearing anything back. I couldn’t believe it when they contacted me.

Now I’m just waiting to hear from them. I’m praying that they’ll hire me. I want this job so bad, it’s everything I’ve wished for, and more. Please, please, tell me I’ve got the job!!!

Hope you’re all doing well. šŸ™‚

Xoxo

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Wedding Anniversary #2

Imagine being greeted by this sight after a long and insanely crappy day at work!

It’s immature and so very silly, and it brought the biggest smile to my face. I couldn’t help but chuckle at theĀ bizarreĀ image of a ragged teddy bear and a tiny dog with a ridiculous bow, playing Texas Poker on the iPhone. Kinda like Toy Story come to life!

Today is our second wedding anniversary. I am so thankful for my husband, who makes me laugh all the time, especially when I’m having a bad day. I neither need nor want flowers or expensive presents or declarations of unending love which are, in my opinion, frivolous and meaningless. I much prefer the hearty laughs and the sweet little gestures that never fail to brighten up my day.

A wise friend once told me, “MarriageĀ is really, really hard work, but it’s the best thing ever!“, and she’s spot on. I constantly remind myself not to take him for granted, and to remember just how incredibly lucky I am that he’s in my life. I feel so blessed, and I know that whatever life throws at us, we will face it together.

 

xoxo

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Where has the time gone! The past few months have just whizzed by in a flash. Work and life, in general, has been a bitch… yada yada yada. I won’t get into it as too much whingeing is unbecoming of a lady. Besides, I refuse to start the weekend with a pity party!

It’s a sign from above that I need to get back to blogging again. The first post I saw, when I logged in after months of inactivity, was this giveaway by Abbamart.

One of my favourite companies, the customer service here is superb. I highly recommend their Toray products and if finances allowed it, I’d buy over the company and make it my very own… MUAHAHAHHA *evil laughter*

Oh well, one can only dream. Good luck for the giveaway! šŸ™‚

 

xoxo

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Birthday Week

After having to work a full day during my birthday, I’m finally going on vacation. Be back in a week!

 

xoxo

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Inertia

According to Dictionary.com,

inĀ·erĀ·tia
noun

inertness, especially with regard to effort, motion, action, and the like; inactivity; sluggishness.

In my case, the definition is incomplete. Phrases like ‘caused by fear‘ or ‘hesitanceĀ in stepping out of one’s comfort zone‘ or ‘uncertainty of the unknown‘ ought to be somewhere in there.

Truth be told, I don’t know what I want. I just know I can’t live like this. I have trouble getting out of bed to get ready for work every morning, and I start counting down to the time I knock off. I live for the weekends. I get depressed when Sunday comes, because I know that Monday is just around the corner. I am miserable every day, and I desperately want to be happy. This is completely ironic, because I do not seem to be taking steps to get out of this situation.

I get battered and bruised at work, and then go home and try to drown my sorrows in a book or whatever’s on TV, feeling so sorry for myself. I am weak, and chained to my abuser, depending on him for money, words of praise and affirmation of my worth. I am pathetic.

Today, I finally updated my resume. After almost 3 months since I vowed to start looking for a new job. You may think I wasn’t serious about wanting to leave, that I was just bitching and whining and wallowing in self-pity. You may be right. It took just about everything in me to take this first small step.

This emotional reliance has got to end. It is ridiculous, I am so much better than this! I am a highly-educated woman, and I have built my career from nothing! I haveĀ a bright future ahead of me. I just need to get over myself and this mental block I have. GRRRR!

 

xoxo

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I’ve just returned from a short vacation, where I had no access to the internet whatsoever. I felt like I had been completely isolated from the modern (and virtual) world, which is both a good and bad thing. I wasn’t even able to access the wifi in Starbucks; I guess the place was too secluded!

Anyway, after checking my email when I got back, I received some bad news from Abbamart:

AbbamartĀ had to make some hard decisions, and we are not shipping to Singapore at this time.

WHATTTTTTT! Was this even announced anywhere? There is nothing on the info page or Facebook about this. I don’t understand the reason at all, and I am not happy about this. Singapore isn’t some third world country where packages get lost all the time. Besides, WE are the ones paying for shipping, not them – it is well within their right to retract the free international shipping offer.

I’m not sure if I ought to bother trying to get my American friends to help me with future Abbamart purchases. This is one very upset ex-customer here. šŸ˜¦

Ā 

[Edited 17 May 2012: Abbamart has contacted me to apologise, and theyĀ explained that shipping had to be suspended due to cases of fraud originating from Singapore.]

 

xoxo

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I’ve been rather down lately. I haven’t worn nail polish in a month, which kinda speaks volumes about my mood.

Those who know me would be familiar with the amount of crap I have to put up with at work every day. I have been very unhappy for a long time, and had to put my professional troubles on the back-burner in order to deal with other priorities in my personal life, namely the health issues my hubby and I are facing, and medical expenses that come along with them.

I suppose it is due to all the media hype over The Hunger Games movie, but I have finally gotten around to reading the books. For days, I immersed myself in the trilogy and was swept along with Katniss and her mental and physical battles.Ā  When I finished the books, it suddenly hit me that the organisation I’m working for is just like the Capitol!

I don’t know how to articulate this in a way that will make sense to outsiders, but on a very small scale, various aspects in the books mirror what’s happening at work (death and destruction aside, naturally). While I cannot and will not claim to possess even a fraction of the amazing qualities Katniss has, I feel like I am the Katniss of my workplace, if The Hunger Games were to be written as The Office Games instead. Am I making any sense whatsoever?

In order to do the jobs we are paid to do, there are times when we have to go against our moral values and principles. It seems Ethics and Integrity no longer have a place in today’s dog-eat-dog world, where getting ahead of the competition is more important than anything else. Every day, the internal conflict rages on inside me as I see or am asked to do things that I completely disagree with or know is wrong. I can almost hear my ethics professor quoting Socrates and Aristotle in my head.

In the corporate arena where we employees are mere pawns in the games our big bosses play, the only thing we can control – the one thing we have that nobody, however high up they may be, can take away from us – is the right to tender our resignation.

For various reasons I will not go into in the interest of anonymity, I will soon be on the hunt for a new job. I no longer want to be associated with a company that I’m not proud to be in, whose values I don’t agree with, and whose actions I don’t want to be a part of. I have reached my limit; enough is enough.

It’s a bittersweet feeling, and I don’t know what is in store for my professional future. The unknown scares me, but it is time for me to do what’s best for me.

 

Note: Lest I come across as someone on her morally upright high horse, I ought to mention that I’m not exactly the beacon of moral standing here. I freely admit to bringing home office stationery like pens and highlighters, and I’m pretty sure that amounts to stealing in some countries.

 

xoxo

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